DESIGN NOTE:

Don't worry, this is a hidden canvas. You can delete it after you read this.

To learn how to showcase Trending / Featured posts and your blog categories on this page, don't forget to also watch our video tutorials on the Learn page! — Jen

back

Personal

The Blessing of Those Who Carry the Cot | The Legacy of Baby August

Grief is a really odd experience to have. One day you’re powering through a list of to-dos like you’re on autopilot. The next, you’re numb. Grey. Lifeless. Sense of humor? What’s that? After losing our baby (you can read his story here), I’ve gone through a rollercoaster of emotions and personality tweaks with my grief. I just don’t feel myself anymore. It’s unpredictable, and hard to manage.

Today I came across a post on social media about the story in Mark 2. And I feel like God reminded me of something really profound.

Mark 2:1-12 (ESV)

And when [Jesus] returned to Capernaum after some days, it was reported that he was at home. And many were gathered together, so that there was no more room, not even at the door. And he was preaching the word to them. And they came, bringing to him a paralytic carried by four men. And when they could not get near him because of the crowd, they removed the roof above him, and when they had made an opening, they let down the bed on which the paralytic lay. And when Jesus saw their faith, he said to the paralytic, “Son, your sins are forgiven.” Now some of the scribes were sitting there, questioning in their hearts, “Why does this man speak like that? He is blaspheming! Who can forgive sins but God alone?” And immediately Jesus, perceiving in his spirit that they thus questioned within themselves, said to them, “Why do you question these things in your hearts? Which is easier, to say to the paralytic, ‘Your sins are forgiven,’ or to say, ‘Rise, take up your bed and walk’? 10 But that you may know that the Son of Man has authority on earth to forgive sins”—he said to the paralytic— 11 “I say to you, rise, pick up your bed, and go home.” 12 And he rose and immediately picked up his bed and went out before them all, so that they were all amazed and glorified God, saying, “We never saw anything like this!”

Paralyzed by Grief

In the days immediately following the loss of Baby August, I felt so numb. I could barely eat enough for weeks. I couldn’t sleep at night, and wanted to do nothing but sleep during the day. The apartment was a mess. Laundry was a mountain high, and mail piled on the kitchen table. I had to be reminded to do just about everything but breathe: take a shower, brush your teeth, eat something, go outside.

I used to be a tough love, “pull yourself together” type of girl when I went through something difficult. But this was different. I couldn’t. Physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually — I lost the ability to do anything beyond survive. And while those kinds of grief waves have come less frequently and less intensely, there are still some days when I feel paralyzed, much like the man in Mark 2.

The Ones Who Carry the Cot

I had read the passage in Mark 2 many times in my life. But when the Lord brought it to my attention recently, I noticed some things that I never noticed before.

  1. Jesus did not shame the man for being paralyzed… for being helpless. He instead marveled at the faith of his friends who carried him in his own cot to see him.
  2. Jesus did not heal him right away… physically. He addresses the man’s soul first. And frankly, that could have been this man’s miracle. But the Lord saw fit to show His power not only to forgive sins, but to redeem the body (a picture of the resurrection to come when earth will one day be made new and we will dwell here again in a perfect, sinless form with Him; Revelation 21:1-4).

I feel like point #2 is a whole separate blog post. It’s a lesson that I’m still asking God to work out in my heart and reveal to me. So for now, I will focus on the first point.

The paralytic had no way of coming to Jesus without help. Similarly, the numbness felt in grief sometimes leaves us helpless to find the words to pray. It leaves us empty and shattered down to dust. We have questions, doubts, even anger toward God. But it can be hard — some days impossible — to articulate that in prayer or worship.

In these moments, I needed someone to “carry my cot” just like the men in Mark 2 carried their friend’s cot to the Lord. I have found it so much easier in these moments of overwhelming grief to ask for prayer from my friends than to go to the Lord myself. And beyond prayer, I needed to feel the Lord’s presence. And it has most often been felt from these selfless, servant-hearted people.

The Opposite of Carrying the Cot

Another lesson I’ve learned in this season is there are some who come along with a heart to help, but they unintentionally do anything but. Sometimes, we complicate helping someone in their grief or time of need, when all they truly need is to be brought to the foot of the cross. Some ways people try to help in ways other than simply carrying the cot are:

  • Denying the cot: We all know denial is one of the 5 stages of grief, but it doesn’t mean it’s healthy to add denial onto someone who’s grieving. Denying the difficulty or minimizing someone’s grief is not in actuality shrinking it out of existence. There’s no “just” when it comes to grief. I fought mental battles of feeling like my miscarriage shouldn’t be this painful, because I was “just” 10 weeks pregnant or because the baby was “just” an inch big. The pain is real. The loss is great. And you can’t ignore or deny grief — the only way to survive grief is to grieve.
  • Decorating the cot: So many well meaning people default to this strategy when pouring into a friend who’s grieving. It’s the optimist’s view of things. The people who try to always find a silver lining. If they can’t take away your pain, they’ll decorate it. If you’re tempted to tell a grieving friend to “look on the bright side,” or that “it’s going to be ok,” or “at least [this] or [that] happened/didn’t happen,” stop. Even if you’re right, grief clouds foresight and hindsight.
  • Disparaging the cot: This is where I might have landed before I started experiencing my own battle with grief. I sometimes still heap this on myself when I’m tired of my own grief waves. The truth is it’s easy to get impatient with irrational fears and toxic mindsets. But scolding someone, or yourself, out of feeling pain only creates more pain. You can’t regiment this journey for someone or yourself. You have to let it ebb and flow. Jesus did not disparage the paralytic for being paralyzed… or even for being sinful. He merely forgave him and healed him, telling him to leave his old life behind once the healing came.

To Those Who Carried My Cot

When I lost Baby August, and even today as I deal with my recovery and grief journey, I’ve had friends and family who so beautifully picked me up and carried by cot to the feet of Jesus. This was done in numerous ways, and I am so thankful for each one. Every effort was a dose of healing along the way. It also proves that there’s more than one way to carry someone’s cot.

To the friends and family members who called and texted, both when we first experienced our loss and in follow-ups on the road to healing, thank you for carrying my cot. Every word, even when you felt or expressed you didn’t have the perfect thing to say, meant the world.

To the friends who visited and gave a literal shoulder to cry on, thank you for carrying my cot. Sometimes just feeling held, even in silence outside of the sobs and sniffles, felt like being held by Jesus. You were the physical representation of his arms for me.

To the friends who brought food or treated us to dinner, thank you for carrying my cot. I’ve expressed before that it was hard at times to remember to eat, because hunger wasn’t noticeable above the pain. Your forward action helped sustain me when I couldn’t think to sustain myself.

To the friends who lended us their dog for a few days, THANK YOU for carrying my cot. You know who you are. And what a creative, yet supremely therapeutic gift that was! When I couldn’t get the motivation to leave my bed or my couch, your sweet pup forced me to my feet to care for something other than myself. And the snuggles when I just needed to weep helped me do so without feeling lonely.

To the friends who supported Kevin individually, thank you for carrying our cot. In miscarriage, Fathers are often forgotten. But grief is hard on relationships. You investing in my husband and allowing him to grieve made him all the stronger to carry me every day.

To the friends who don’t know what to say, but pray for us privately, thank you for carrying our cot. I know your lack of words comes from a place of care and fear of making things worse. There’s so much grace for that. But we appreciate when you even think of us at all and bring our petition before the Lord for healing.

If you are also enduring a trial in life, just remember that friends who carry you to the arms of Jesus and foot of the cross are the greatest blessing in times like this. Name them. Thank them. And remember them… especially when your miracle or rainbow comes.

+ view the comments

Reply...

This Wilbur Mansion wedding could not have been more perfect and picturesque for two longtime sweethearts. Journeying through the previous year with Andrew and Rachel has been a true privilege. From photographing the moment Rachel said “yes” to Andrew’s proposal at National Cathedral, to their picture-perfect snowy engagement session at the DAR Headquarters, to a […]

When Taylor reached out about having me photograph her Hilton Head Island wedding, I could hardly believe it. Since marrying my husband, I’ve enjoyed annual trips to Hilton Head with my in-laws, who have been visiting for years. I’m not much of a beach person (love my lake life!) but the beauty of the low […]

Brandon and Sadie tied the knot in an intimate Alexandria elopement, with a special ceremony at their home church on August 28, 2024. That day was such a sweet culmination of their beautiful love story. Though I’m on maternity leave after welcoming my first baby home, I was so honored that Brandon & Sadie chose […]

featured

Planning your wedding in Savannah, Georgia, provides you with so many options in a city full of Southern charm, historic elegance, and breathtaking low-country beauty. Whether you’re dreaming of a romantic garden ceremony, a grand ballroom reception, or something in between, Savannah seems to have wedding venues for every taste. As a Georgia wedding photographer, I’ve done the research so you don’t have to.

Savannah wedding venues, list of the best venues from a SAV wedding photographer who shoots light and airy style wedding photos | side by side images of Spanish moss at a Savannah wedding venue

Why You Should Consider Savannah Wedding Venues

Savannah is a city unlike any other. With its oak-lined streets, historic homes, and timeless coastal views, it’s no surprise that couples flock here to tie the knot. Savannah wedding venues offer something for everyone—from intimate settings surrounded by nature to grand estates steeped in history. Plus, its mild climate makes it a perfect choice for weddings year-round.

Top Savannah Wedding Venues to Consider

Hotel Bardo (formerly, The Mansion on Forsyth Park)

For couples seeking a venue that provides a fun vintage aesthetic amidst classic Savannah landmarks, Hotel Bardo is one of Savannah’s crown jewels. This venue combines historic charm with mid-century modern sophistication, offering everything from intimate indoor spaces to a picturesque garden courtyard.

Wormsloe Historic Site

For those who want to embrace Savannah’s natural beauty, Wormsloe Historic Site provides one of the most iconic backdrops in the city. The long driveway lined with towering live oaks draped in Spanish moss is a bride’s dream. It’s a serene, ethereal setting perfect for a romantic outdoor ceremony.

The Westin Savannah Harbor Golf Resort & Spa

If waterfront views are your vibe, The Westin Savannah Harbor offers a stunning riverside backdrop. With expansive lawns overlooking the Savannah River, this venue blends elegance and nature seamlessly. Plus, the convenience of on-site accommodations makes it ideal for your out-of-town guests.

The Savannah Yacht Club

Couples who envision a sophisticated coastal wedding will fall in love with The Savannah Yacht Club. This venue offers sweeping views of the water, nautical charm, and an air of exclusivity. It’s perfect for smaller, more intimate weddings or grand celebrations with a coastal flair.

Ships of the Sea Maritime Museum

For history buffs and lovers of unique spaces, the Ships of the Sea Maritime Museum is a standout option. This venue features a lush garden courtyard and historic exhibits that add personality and charm to your wedding. The combination of indoor and outdoor spaces offers flexibility for your big day.

Bethesda Academy

Bethesda Academy boasts one of Savannah’s most stunning natural landscapes, featuring majestic oak trees draped in Spanish moss and rolling green fields. Its historic chapel and beautiful outdoor spaces create a dreamy, intimate setting perfect for a romantic Low-Country-inspired wedding.

The Mackey House

Tucked away in a private estate surrounded by nature, The Mackey House is a venue straight out of a fairytale. With a grand Southern-style mansion, lush gardens, and a peaceful lake, it’s the perfect place for an outdoor wedding full of whimsy and charm.

The Ford Field & River Club

Located just outside Savannah in Richmond Hill, this venue exudes refined Southern elegance. The sprawling estate features scenic views of the Ogeechee River, romantic oak groves, and luxurious accommodations, making it a perfect choice for an intimate yet grand wedding experience.

The Harper Fowlkes House

The Harper Fowlkes House is a historic and elegant mansion nestled in the heart of Savannah’s historic district. With its Greek Revival architecture, sweeping staircase, and lush gardens, this venue exudes timeless sophistication and charm. The courtyard garden is ideal for an intimate outdoor ceremony or cocktail hour, while the mansion’s interior offers a beautifully preserved space for receptions with intricate details like antique furnishings and grand windows.

The Kehoe House

The Kehoe House is a stunning, historic mansion located in the heart of Savannah’s Historic District. Built in 1892, this stately home is an exquisite example of Renaissance Revival architecture. Known for its ornate ironwork, grand interiors, and warm Southern hospitality, the Kehoe House is ideal for couples seeking a venue with timeless elegance and charm.

Savannah wedding venues, list of the best venues from a SAV wedding photographer who shoots light and airy style wedding photos | side by side photos, left side image shows a long rectangle table set for a wedding reception amidst live oak trees draped with Spanish moss; right side photo shows a set of gold wedding rings next to a strand of Spanish moss

Tips for Choosing Between These Savannah Wedding Venues

  1. Consider Your Guest List Size
    Savannah wedding venues come in all shapes and sizes. From intimate gardens to sprawling estates, ensure the venue you choose comfortably accommodates your guest list.
  2. Think About Your Wedding Style
    Your venue should reflect your wedding vision. Are you dreaming of timeless elegance, coastal charm, or a whimsical outdoor affair? Savannah has venues that can bring any aesthetic to life, but the wrong venue can make your details and decor appear out of place. Make the most of that investment (and wedding photos) by choosing a venue that harmonizes with your style!
  3. Factor in Logistics
    From transportation to accommodations, Savannah is known for its hospitality, but it’s wise to consider the proximity of your venue to hotels and local attractions for your guests’ convenience. Consider traffic, city events on or around your wedding day that may cause disruption, and other logistics your guests may face. A wedding planner will help you navigate all the unexpected challenges with ease!
  4. Book Early
    Savannah is a popular wedding destination, especially in spring and fall. To secure your dream venue, book your Savannah wedding venue as early as possible! Then secure primary vendors on your list such as photographer, videographer, planner (if you don’t yet have one) and more.
Savannah wedding venues, list of the best venues from a SAV wedding photographer who shoots light and airy style wedding photos | photo shows a wedding couple kissing under the Spanish moss, wearing a light grey linen suit (groom) and an off-the-shoulder satin wedding gown (bride)

Making the Most of Savannah Wedding Venues

Choosing one of Savannah’s stunning wedding venues is just the beginning. Personalize your celebration with touches that reflect your interests and love story. Whether it’s incorporating local cuisine like shrimp and grits, offering your guests trolley rides through the historic district, or having your photos taken under the iconic Spanish moss, Savannah is full of ways to make your wedding day an unforgettable experience for all.

Planning a wedding is no small task, but having a photographer who knows and loves the charm of Savannah can make all the difference.

I specialize in creating artful images out of your favorite memories. Booking me ensures you’ll have a wedding gallery that represents the essence of your love and legacy in every image. Learn more about my services and approach here.

If you’re considering a wedding in Savannah, I’d love to capture every moment for you. Let’s connect and discuss how I can create timeless art from your most cherished memories.

Inspiration & Photo Prep tips, Straight to your inbox

First Name

Email Address

Subscribe

MORE TO EXPLORE